If you Become a Dog, Look for the Joy in Sniffing your Own Butt



If you become a dog, enjoy it.

At some point in your life, you may lose things that are important for your ego in society. Your status, your money, your job, your home. Maybe even friends or lovers.

So if it happens, just accept it and say F*** it. If you do your best, or made what you thought were the right decision, yet still lost status and face, well F*** it. Shit happen. Don’t beat yourself up too much or blame yourself and see yourself as a useless human being. Life is full of decisions and forces out of our control. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes wrong. But just keep going.

Our wellbeing is often tied into our perception of status and how (we think) we appear in the eyes of ‘society’.

But who is society? People around us – friends, work colleagues. They are busy worrying about how they look to others. We are all worried about how we look to others. What a neurotic world we live in.

As a woman at a job used to say some mornings when she came in: “Good morning Fellow Slaves”. I told her, “It’s too close to the truth”. We become slaves to the perception of status.

Society is status orientated

We’ve all had this – meeting someone at a party – the ‘what do you do?” question. For several reasons, its a pretty pointless question. Or you are asked to fill in your occupation on some kind of registration form. Those are worse, because the answer you give in the moment can define you generations later, when your descendants look at those papers (and judge).

Those of us, with a less ‘straight and narrow’ approach to life may change their occupations many times at various time in their life. In that case, what do you write?

“Shop worker, office worker, manager, driver, teacher, actor, farmer, therapist, writer, unemployed, gardener…”

Or what do you write, if you are one of those guys that electrocute battery hens to death for a living? Or inject tumours into lab rats. Awkward.

“So what do you do?”

“Well, I torture and kill animals for profit.”

And that is why we invented fancy job titles.

What you do can change from week to week, month to month, year to year. You may do many different things in your life. What exactly is the true answer?

Uusally this question refers precisely to salaried work? Not everyone does that.

Answers are usually graded. Top marks go to doctors, lawyers accountants, corporate workers. Mid range marks go to clerks, admin, sales, nurses. Lower marks get graded to services – (even though arguably they are more essential to society and may often have more money than mid range marks) -e.g builders, gardeners, plumbers, pest control.

Booby marks go to those unemployed or with suspiciously (non work-type) professions. That sometimes includes acupuncture – depending on the type of party.

Overall its all pretty much pointless. Because if you going to rate someone, you may as well rate them on income and their wealth, rather than on a job title. This may sound materialistic, but jobs and job titles can be temporary and always changing. Whereas wealth pretty much stands for itself. and that is all anyone really takes notice of anyway.

So at a party, when someone asks “And What do you do?” Just answer, “I have a net worth of £110,000, how about you…?”

Pause… “Oh… Erm… I have a Tesco club card!”

‘Keep Face’ Book

And you may be surprised but a lot of people that look good ‘on paper’, ie with status, professional careers, fame, or big houses new car etc – may actually be insolvent, carrying lots of debt and that includes mortgage debt.

You hear often of bankrupt celebrities. They get lots of money, but either they overspend or some unscrupulous accountant or business partner rips them off. I think that true wealth probably doesn’t reveal itself too much. It comes in the form of people wih modest lifestyles, simple appearances, second hand cars and simple diets. Basically saving more than you spend.

Ultimately it is all pretty much unimportant and the reason for that is very simple. No one cares about you. People only care about themselves.

All that matters is you are satisfied with what you are doing. You are happy with what you are doing in life. If you truly are happy with your path, than you will greet everyone in that party exactly the same manner whether it is the garbage collector or the surgeon. Everyone will be interesting in your eyes.

Most people don’t do this. That’s why they play the point system.

Jewel in the Rough: Where else can you find one?

One of the most interesting guys I met was whilst working in a factory, in my hometown in my early 20s.

He was a man in his 50s, fit, and with a positive zest and enthusiasm for life. He was friendly to everyone. At the time, I was a temp, after having just dropped out of law school and was suffering with recurrent gut health problems (colitis). I was feeling pretty miserable. Even more so working in that factory.

But this guy told me his story. He wife had been suffering from cancer. She died a few years earlier. He had to stop working. And after her death, it hit him hard.

But, his tragic story became a story of inspiration. He decided he was going to learn karate, which he did so with enthusiasm and passion. He practiced regularly. He became a black belt. It made him fit and strong, both mentally and physically.

And though he worked in a factory with low pay and inherent instability, he had a positive vibe around him. His positive attitude livened up all the other factory workers – these middle aged women. He sometimes taught them karate moves. He taught me one. He was friendly and engaging with everyone. Including me, on the very first day I came. He shared his story openly and I was glad he did as I was only given one shift there.

He was even considerate towards a young female worker who suddenly felt faint as she had missed out on her breakfast to lose weight. Not a good idea when doing physical labour.

Lifelong impressions

Could you imagine being the kind of person who leaves a lifelong impression on someone after only a 30 minute conversation? We all imagine that celebrities or Presidents have that kind of power. But I think it can come from anyone potentially, with an interesting life.

Though brief, he left a lifelong impression on me. From a status point of view, he’d be down on the scale. As a human being with a life of interest, he was way up there. For a young man, hearing a story of how someone went through an extremely difficult loss, but maintained a positive frame of mind by taking on a mastering a new hobby was extremely inspiring. It made me question the issue of status and how imprisoned I was by its power over us.

‘Important’ People

On the other hand, being from a law family, I frequently met ‘respectable’ people, at the ever-frequent and torturous ‘dinner’/house parties I was subjected to from my mother.

One of the worst people I met was the owner of a law firm. He had the wealth, the status, the fancy car and clothes, but he was a dick. The only time we spoke, he was rude and antagonistic to me. At the time, I was young and naive, but usually very respectful to any elders I met. Big mistake.

He was one of most repulsive people I’ve met in my life, and left me feeling lousy about myself. He was also quite out of shape, which may be a reflection of his internal mind. No doubt he had some issues, which material success can only make worse.

This is not to say all people with humble jobs or high status jobs are like this. There are cool people and dicks everywhere.

It is healthier to idolise a rock than Ariana Grande (or insert celebrity name here if it is not 2019)

The worst thing to do is idolise or pedalastise people based on their status in society. They could be the worst people ever. Don’t be fooled by appearances. Celebrity worship is even worse. Worshipping celebrities – basically worshipping a fantasy is naive. The person we see on the screen in a favourite movie is not real. It is made up. You may as well worship a piece of wood on the ground. Celebrities are a story. Some are like a blank canvas, so we we can fill in our own worshipful story for them. But they’re all fake.

All except for Stephen Segal, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stallone of course.


If you are dissatisfied or playing societies’ game of one-up-man ship, it means you are playing the point system. Unfortunately the point system imposes limitations on us, by keeping us stuck in the game. Even if you are at the top status wise, you can still be just as insecure as someone lower down in the system. Even more so.

Forever Home Improvements

Perhaps that is why there is so many shows about renovating your kitchen. People have to look for new ways to impress, to keep up, to portray your status. Perhaps people are looking for fulfilment by improving things they can improve on – like their kitchen, or building a loft renovation. Or buying a 4×4, SUV even though you live in the city, and the closest you come to nature is when you drive past some cows along the motorway.

Or you could buy a Tesler. Thats the current status symbol. It used to be BMW’s or porches. But now every Jack and Bill is driving one.

Down Dog

So what happens when you become a dog? In other words you lose your status. You lose something that is essential for the ego.

There are three possible paths.

One is the downward spiral. Your psyche is broken. You see no way out. You drop into that deep black pit. In its bleakness and pain, it is strangely enough, warm and comfortable. The longer you are there, the more you want to stay. This path imposes limitations as it means you are effectively in ‘stopping time’. You are withdrawing from life. At worse, it leads to extreme decisions. Even suicide.

The other is the Rocky Balboa path. You play Eye of the Tiger on a loop. Fight! Push hard! Struggle, suffer and dig your way out of it. It makes for an interesting story later on. You take on the role of the hero – fighting against reality, to bend it to your will. And overcome it with success or be crushed. And if you succeed you can relive your glory by telling people your rags to riches story. Even better, you can sell it as a program and make money.

A third path, is to fully embrace it. Enjoy being a dirty dog. Own it. Absorb it. Let go resistance. It could be as the Buddhists call it – ‘the middle way’. Embrace it with humour. See the irony of life. Perhaps yesterday you were flying high. But today you are a dog. Tomorrow you may be a dog still. Or maybe you’ll be flying high again. Doesn’t matter. Either way laugh at it and enjoy being the dog.


Perhaps you are stuck in debt. Massive amounts of debt.

I met some Americans some years ago at a seminar. They talked about the kind of debt students were getting from university fees at acupuncture college. Another person talked about her medical bills. These debts ran into the tens of thousands.

I thought to myself that this kind of debt is unpayable. At that point, you might as well stop stressing about it. Just accept it and say “Fine. I’m an indebted son of a bitch. Bite me.” At that point, there’s no longer any point in getting stressed about it. Instead, just figure out how to live daily life without it inconveniencing you too much.

A country cannot indebt its citizens to this ridiculous extent without there being a consequence in the future. Is this the modern version of indentured slavery? I think it is.

Fight the debt

You could take the Rocky path. Listen to Eye of the Tiger, buy all those Dave Ramsey books and dvds (on credit card). Fight your way out of debt. Like slaying a dragon. Some people do it. But there are some who just can’t.

The Dave Ramsey plan still depends on your earning more money than your debt is worth and cutting your spending. But not everyone can take an extra job or even increase their earnings.

No matter how much Eye of the Tiger you listen to, you probably can’t do more than two jobs without going postal at some point. Can you really scrimp and save, as inflation secretly increases and you have a family to support? Sure some can, but many struggle. Are you telling me that everyone who buys a Dave Ramsey book becomes debt free? If so, there would be no debt problem in America.

So if you can’t pay it, just accept it.

Aim to pay it off. Work, budget and manage your debt collectors. Make a plan. But ultimately, there needs to be a degree of acceptance.  Never think you are a terrible human being for being in that situation or that there is no way out.

We live in a time of easy debt, high (and hidden) inflation and stagnant wages. You are playing against the house in the gambling system of a world with funny money. This is the economy, which is really like a small town casino. The house wins. The house always wins. The best you can do, is keep your wits and emotions in check, don’t drink too much and plan to get out of the casino without too much of a loss.


So someone leaves you for another Chad or Betty. There are billions of people on the planet. Think on that. Billions of women or men that can F*** you up some more if you want. It is not the end of the world. Be grateful and enjoy your break.

Or maybe you are the Chad or Betty.

Lives can be long and there are billions of people on this planet. Is life really meant to be spent with just one person? Relationships open us up to new experiences and ways to develop our personality. Do you want to play as bonobos or chimps?

Or apes? Treat them mean, keep them keen.

Some matches help us grow at one point in life, but then can suffocate us at another. Some things need to be gone through together, especially raising kids. But then some relationships are just toxic for adults and kids.

Maybe better to just buy a playstation and some woodbines. And cheaper too.

Hitting bottom (no, not spanking – I mean literally)

Anyone can hit bottom. No need to feel ashamed. Why add that extra layer of suffering. Some of the most charming people are those who have hit bottom. It makes a person more humble. It can be a great way to lose your ego.

It’s all part of the journey. Life has ups and downs. When life is up, people think it will always be that way. When life is down, it can feel like the bottom is dropping out of your universe.

I know some of the pain, but there are those that have fared worse. And so much will happen in life for as long as you live. Perhaps it is a training ground for our souls, as some say.

Failure, breakup, loss, money woes, embarrassment, and sickness, has hurt badly, but I notice that each time it happens it causes me to withdraw and go within. To ask myself, ‘is this the time to change my life course again?’.

Feed your soul and spirit

It’s taken years, but the main thing I’ve concluded, is to go put your mind, your desires and goals on doing what is important for your soul. If you have something that makes you tingle. That gives you life, then do it, no matter what. You don’t have to give up a regular job or family to do that. There is always a way to do what you want. Just do it on the side.

Kakegurui – Compulsive Gambler

Here’s an example from Japanese anime. You’ll learn more from watching Japanese anime than you ever will from watching the BBC. Yes, Eastenders and the news are so enlightening.

Kakegurui is an anime about an elite high school, where the students are not judged on academic acheivement or atheltisicm. They are judged on their gambling skill.

All the students are children of the elite – politicians, business tycoons etc. The status of the student is based on how much money they win from gambling. The people who win have a higher status and more power over the others. The students who lose with debts, become nothing more than servants, or ‘pets’ to the other students.  They even get a pet name. If they are male, they become a dog. If a female, a cat. And they must wear a pet tag around their neck.

‘Mi-ke’ / ‘Mittens’

In one scene, the main character Yumeko loses a huge gamble with the student council and loses all her money. She falls millions into debt.

According to the rules of the school, she loses her status and falls to the level of ‘pet’.

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Her classmates ridicule her for her loss of status, and take satisfaction in planning to treat her as a pet. In her case, a cat.

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Howver, instead of become upset. Or refuse, Yumeko simply gets on her knees and plays the role of cat perfectly. She accepts her failure without regret. She does not care how she appears.

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Her classmates are disturbed by her unexpected reaction.  Instead of bullying her or making her feel bad, it is them that are shocked and want to leave.

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Yumeko places no value on her status or how she is percieved to others. She did not even feel any negativity to the person she lost to. She saw it as part of the game, which she ends up winning later on.

This kind of mindset is extremely empowering. If you do not fear losing status in the eyes of others, it frees you up to live a life of authenticity, as well as to follow your ultimate goals.

The animators make it clear that despite her huge loss, and seemingly weak position, actually, Yumeko has an intense amount of internal strength. This is apparent by the red, almost demonic eyes. This is the Eye of the Tiger.

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Perhaps this approach may seem irresponsible, but what is the alternative. You let it crush you. You disappear and drink yourself into oblivion, and give up?

The Pit.

Loss can hit hard and send you down into a pit. It may be difficult to get out. But I think that the pit has a purpose. It gives you a space to withdraw into. If you can pass through the self-hatred, blame, and other demons of the pit, you have the chance to turn this into a positive journey. It can provide introspection and deep reflection. To go spiritual.

The pit is an analogy to Alice’s rabbit hole.

Descent into the Well

In the Haruki Murakami book ‘The Wind Up Bird Chronicles‘, there is this wonderful scene where the protagonist descends into a well in his back garden to escape from his life. Once down there, strange things start happening to his mind. He is transported to different places. Even into the mind of his antagonist. It is similar to the movie ‘Being John Malkovich‘.

It is apparent that, spiritual awakening comes not from how many hours and years you meditate, chant, attend a class, or worship an icon of your favourite guru. It comes from solitude and that dark place, where we all fear to tread.

Hence, why we hear of famed spiritual masters from the past who disappeared into the mountains, deserts, caves or jungles alone for 40 days and nights, or however long it took, for them.

Look at Ekhart Tolle. He didn’t attain his awakening from meditating or postive thinking or even ‘being in the moment,’ which he talks about all the time in his books. He got it from being stuck in weeks and months of an intense depression and sitting on park benches, until finally, it just came to him after an intense period of introspection. He went into the hole. Buddha also did the same.

The dark place, the hole, as I call it, is where awakening can occur. Ever wonder why life seems to throw so much shit at you. One disaster after another. One problem after another. You throw your arms up to the sky and ask why? Oh why me!?

I’m a good person. I do good things for charity. I help people. But this still happens?

Perhaps it is to make you resilient. To toughen you up.  Or to teach you a lesson. Perhaps it your karma. You were one of Stalin’s henchmen in a previous life. Maybe there really is no meaning. Just a random act. Or genetics..? Doctors like using that term.

But what if it is the universe’s way of driving you deep within. Or even your own soul’s doing? Down into the black hole where transformation and awakening can occur. That place cannot be reached in the world of daily life, jobs, holidays, renovating kitchens, SUVs, TV, caring about politics or buying houses.

That whole lot of shit sent your way; it’s purpose is to awaken you. Will you look at it, or turn away? This is the choice everyone will be faced with at some point. And sometimes many times in the same life.

Find your pleasure.

So forget status and how you look. Instead ask – what gives you excitement in life? What makes you come alive? Chase it. And if you become a dog in the process, it doesn’t matter.

Another way is humour. Humour is the antidote to worry and fear. This is the reason why the British are said to be so funny. The British have developed humour as a way of dealing with difficulties in life. Traditionally, they have a dry, tongue-in-cheek humour.

It come from hundreds of years of being exploited by the ruling classes to fight horrible wars and basically being trodden upon in poverty. Think ‘going over the top’ in the trenches in WWI. Life is more comfortable now and we have become horrendously complacent, almost slovenly, but it wasn’t always so in England. Once this was a damp, poor, grim place to live and work. (Wait, it still is!)

To end, a poem

A close friend of mine says that “poets are gay”. He means that in the American high-school sense of ‘uncool’ or ‘lame’ rather than homosexual, and was specifically referring to acupuncturists that write poetry.

Not sure I agree. I would recommend he read some Chuck Bukowski. Might change his mind about poets in general. Though maybe not about acupuncturist poets.

So anyway, I deicided to write a poem. Another gay acupuncturist writing poetry.

Here it is:

When you become a dog


The best thing about being a dog.

Is sniffing your own butt.

And not caring what other dogs think.

Because they are sniffing your butt too.


The best thing about being a Cat.

Is licking your own crotch.

And not caring what other cats think.

Because they are licking theirs too.


Behold Man. Master of them all.

 Man builds Towers. The cats hunt mice.

Man flies to the Moon. The dogs chases balls.

Mighty Man. Looks down on all


But alas, a Man will never reach the peaks.

Of the canine. Or the feline.

For no matter how much he stretch and strain.

His butt and crotch, he’ll not reach.


The undiscovered country.

Where no man’s nose can meet.

Or tongue can greet. And what’s more

He’ll always care what others think.


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Death of the Shaman: Has the UK become a Spiritual Wasteland?

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The Myth of the English Gentleman, Football Hooligans and Why the UK needs Confucianism

I’m sorry to do this to you, but your perception is wrong. This article is going to break your belief in British stereotypes.

Is England the land of Gentleman?

A lot of people have this idea that England is a land of gentleman. People who have not had much exposure to the British, think that England – aka Great Britain, is a land of tea drinking, tweed-wearing, gentlemen, carrying umbrellas or walking sticks and frequently quoting Shakespeare or Wordsworth.

There are people around the world that actually believe British people look like this:

Sherlock Homes
George Orwell, author
Hugh Grant in Notting Hill

You’ve been fooled…

I’m sorry to break it to you. But it was a big fat lie. There is no English gentleman. At least not anymore. It was all a myth to make people want to come here. We don’t have any industry anymore. Except for tourism. Hence our need to keep the myth of the English gentleman alive. So people will come here to try to look for him.

Ha ha ha, what suckers you are. Some people even think that the British are funny people. Ha ha… How do you say – ‘I am rolling around on the floor laughing!’ Oh, we have you all fooled.

You see…

Here is your real ‘English Gentleman’:

The tattoo “NUFC” stands for “Newcastle United Football Club”.

And here are some more ‘English Gentlemen on their way to a football game after church service.

Picture Source: Police on hunt for 100 missing football hooligans ahead of World Cup kick off. The Mirror. 

And one of your ‘favourite ‘English Gentleman’:

David Beckham

By the way, do you notice how all three examples show men that have taken off their clothes? I’ll discuss that later.

England and Football (and British Hooliganism)

The UK and Football go together. Our most popular export is football. During the World Cup, the whole of Europe, and South America goes football crazy. Except for the North Americans with their strange sports called Baseball and American Football. Some North Americans even think that cricket is a type of insect… strange indeed.

Unfortunately, one of the UK’s greatest exports is also football hooliganism.

Whenever the national team goes abroad, a legion of fans follow, with the express purpose of excessive drinking, violence and destroying of property.

British football supporters have the worst reputation in Europe. If you think I am exaggerating, here are photos of some of our finest English gentlemen attending a football match abroad:

Hello Chaps, Wonderful weather. Now let’s all remember to respect the locals and here’s a splendid opportunity to practice that high school french you spent five years learning – What ho…
Ohh la la… L’ Anglais. Merde.
Excusi Moir, oh est la toillette? Oh est la gare? Sil vous plait
Our ancestors fought the evil Nazis in Europe
Now WE will fight the evil restaurants and shopkeepers over there

Picture Sources: England fans are targeted by Belgian thugs while celebrating their 2-1 win over Wales as three Russian ‘ultras’ are jailed for up to two years in France. Mail Online.

Violence begets violence

So what happens when group of people impose negative or aggressive behaviour on others? Eventually the people they put it on will return it in kind. Hence the meaning of the Gandhi expression –

An eye for an eye will turn the whole world blind

The New Breed of Russian Football Yobs

And so in 2016, europe saw a different breed of football hooligan.

Gone was the dominance of the pie n’ chips-eating, lager-drinking middle-aged men from England. Their era of galloping across Europe, terrorising Greek resorts was under threat. Their style of hooliganism – of getting drunk and then destroying small bars and restaurants was coming to an end – (wasn’t it just – oh so 1980’s) .

A new danger had emerged.

A muscled, toned,  army of hooligans trained in combat, had emerged from Russia of all places. Their mission. To Seek and Destroy British football supporters. These were specially trained Russian Football hooligans called the ‘Ultras’.

Here are some pictures of them. Behold – the Russian ‘Ultras’

These ‘Ultra’s’ are reminiscent of the 1980s Arnold Schwarzenegger movie – Predator.

The Predator was a highly trained alien warrior designed to hunt and exterminate its human prey.

Indeed these Russian ultras are just like the predators of the Football world. Many of them even look like Arnie. And unlike the British hooligans who have trained their bodies on beer and pie, these Russian Ultras specifically trained their bodies with physical exercise and martial art fighting.

Here are some photos of their training:

Russian ‘Ultra’ Training Seminar
This is just the warm up

Picture Source: Daily Mail Online. 14th June 2016. Thomas Burrows. Revealed: Russian thugs’ training ground where ‘Ultra’s were made to line up and attack each other to select the ‘best’ 150 to send to Euro 2016.

Heck, even ‘women’ were training to become Ultras

Picture Source: Bad Blood: Russian football hooligans warn England fans ‘prepare to DIE’ ahead of the World Cup 2018. The Sun.

Meanwhile, the British football supporters were training back in the UK, ready for the upcoming 2016 Euro competition in Marseilles – France, with pie and beer…

No joke – this picture came from a news article called – ‘Nottingham Forest Fans ‘fight over last pie’ at half time during defeat to Leeds’, in the Mirror ‘Newspaper’

Who would win in such a meeting? Safe money was on the Russians.

вежливый привет – Where is your pie now comrade?

Picture Source: Bad Blood: Russian football hooligans warn England fans ‘prepare to DIE’ ahead of the World Cup 2018. The Sun.

Europe 2016: The Final Countdown

The Ultras main target was ‘tha English’. So What happens when Predator meets Pie and Chips? Do you think, they put their differences aside and decided to actually enjoy watching the football? Hell no.

Here’s what happened.

“I Must Break You” (Drago in Rocky IV)
прия́тно познако́миться
Russian and British supporters having a debate about football… British losing.

A group of 150 “hyper rapid, hyper violent” Russian hooligans attacked Three Lions supporters in the French port city of Marseilles in 2016, in scenes which shocked the footballing world during the European Championships.

They threw chairs and beer bottles in violent battles the National Police Chiefs’ Council said were “on a scale we haven’t seen for many years”.

Source: Bad Blood: Russian football hooligans warn England fans ‘prepare to DIE’ ahead of the World Cup 2018. The Sun.

World Cup 2018 in Russia

In 2018, the World Cup was going to be held in Russia – Home of the ‘Ultra’. As expected, the Russians supporters were training hard for battle on their home ground.

In fact, when the Russian Ultra’s were returning to Russia after the Euro 2016 violence, it appeared that Putin may have sympathised with them.

At first, Russia’s president, Vladimir Putin, smirkingly questioned how 200 Russian supporters could see off “a few thousand Englishmen”.

Source – The rise of Russia’s neo-Nazi football hooligans. The Guardian.

Bad Press

However, as much as Putin was probably happy to see British yobs beaten up by Russians, even he couldn’t let a violence free-fest occur in Russia during the World Cup two years later. It would be too much bad press, even for Russia. So the Russian authorities clamped down on Football violence and there were no attacks. Lesson learnt perhaps.

According to Russian newspaper reports, in December 2016, more than 100 police officers and members of the FSB, Russia’s security service, raided hooligans’ homes.

Arrests duly followed, including that of Alexei Yerunov, the leader of the FC Lokomotiv firm Vikings, who had already spent several months in a French prison before returning to Russia.

In all, more than 200 hooligans have been issued with court orders banning them from football matches till the end of the World Cup.

Source: The rise of Russia’s neo-Nazi football hooligans. The Guardian.

And, I think there is a lesson learnable here. Stamp out the violence hard and discourage it. Or to quote the Bible – ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’.

Empty hand

Mind you, during the world cup in Japan 2002, it was curious, but there was none of the same violence over there. From what I heard, a lot of the British football supporters were respectful and well-behaved.

Is it because, Japan is such a strongly civilised and well-behaved country, the visitors felt strongly pressured to behave themselves over there? Could it be that the spirit of Confucianism be-spirited the British football supporters into showing respectful behaviour?

Perhaps we will find out when Japan hosts their next World Cup. I sincerely hope we don’t allow our hooligans to go over there.

Or was it the Police?

I don’t think it’s about policing. In Europe, the police look like soldiers. But this doesn’t deter hooligans. Some of them can be quite rude too. But in Japan, the police look like normal human beings. You can easily approach them in their police kobans (small police boxes present in many towns) to ask for directions if you get lost.

By British standards, they would seem to be ‘soft touches’, but I don’t think that is the case. Japan has one of the safest societies and lowest crime levels in the World.

Respect for society

In my book, The Genki Self Health Guide, and in another article about vending machines, I touched on some social differences between Japanese and British people in regards to litter, graffiti and damage to property (links at end of this article).

I believe that a stronger sense of respect for society is fostered in the Japanese from an early age. Whereas in Britain, the opposite holds true.

Confucius attitude

The Japanese have a good reputation worldwide, for being polite, respectful and clean. Of course, there are exceptions, but many Japanese people sees themselves as ambassadors for their country. They don’t want people to look down on the whole of Japan because of their own personal actions. So they act with dignity and respect whenever they travel abroad. They also act politely and respectful towards each other in their own country.

Japan and Confucianism

Japan has a Confucian focused society, with principles based on respect for society and tradition. I think that somehow this Japanese attitude also influences people who visit Japan into behaving themselves. All except for Logan Paul.

Here is an example of how good behaviour can influence others. In the 2018 Russia World cup, some of the Japanese football supporters actually CLEANED the stadium after the match had ended:

Japanese cleaning the stadium after match finished

Fastidious Japanese fans took a brief break from celebrating a historic and shock World Cup victory over Colombia to clean up rubbish discarded on the floor of the stadium, earning them praise and inspiring other nations to follow suit.

Following the unfancied side’s 2-1 victory over their South American opponents, the diligent fans were filmed putting plastic cups, bottles, cardboard and food waste left scattered below the stadium’s eye-catching acid orange seats into blue bin bags.

Japanese fans have a reputation for tidiness having previously stayed behind to clean up after themselves after a 2-1 defeat to Ivory Coast at the 2014 World Cup in Brazil.

And then, the Senegalese did the same, showing that they are infinitely more civilized and more gentlemanly than the British:

Meanwhile, in the day’s later kick-off, Senegal fans were also applauded for following the example set by Japan’s fans by cleaning up after their side’s 2-1 victory over Poland.

Why did the Japanese do this? Professor Scott North of Osaka University explained:

Work and the division of labour shapes modern Japanese society. It is a habit ingrained from childhood.

He explained that cleaning up after football matches is “an extension of basic behaviours that are taught in school, where the children clean their school classrooms and hallways”.

In many public schools, children do much of the cleaning at the end of each day, a 20-minute routine known as o-soji.

Source: Japanese fans clean up stadium after World Cup victory and inspire other nations to follow suit. The Telegraph.

Picking up your litter (Gomi)

It is curious why many newspapers were surprised that the Japanese actually took time to clean up their litter at the end of the match. Even using words like “fastidious” – which carries a negative meaning and implies they are overly fussy.

Have we so lost the plot? Don’t we realise that picking up your own rubbish is perfectly civilised behaviour? I think the Japanese would have been even more surprised that we didn’t pick up ours. In fact, we drop it without a care.

Don’t we realise that this makes us barbarians? And the Japanese as gentlemen?

And the Senegalese too.

So whilst the British are trashing local restaurants, bars and streets after dropping copious amounts of trash during the match, the Japanese actually took time to clean up their trash after the match… And this was the same whether they won or lost… Incredible.

Why can’t it always be like that?

Well it can be.

By the way, take a look at some typical Japanese football supporters during the World Cup:

Screenshot 2019-03-03 at 12.08.07
Do you notice, that there are men AND women. And also that they are wearing clothes.

Or how about this girl?


Here’s an easy question:

If you had a choice between standing next to these guys at a football match or these girls, who would you choose?

Yes. Definitely I would choose to stand among the Japanese supporters. In fact, I think from now on I will support Japan. I will beg them to please let me be in their stand during future matches. No more big bellies, pie and chips for me. Pretty girls and polite guys from now on.

Releasing Anger – UK Hooliganism

But perhaps, there is a reason for this increase in violence. It is an expression of anger coming out. People are holding on to all sorts of emotions and stresses deep within. Instinctively, we know we are not free. Our emotions are also constantly stimulated – especially anger, blame, resentment and desire.

We see a world, that is becoming more unbalanced. For some, this outpouring of violence is a way of releasing it. It is the same principle as behind the Fight Club Movie. Aggression is a way of release.

When did it all start and Why?

Perhaps it is significant that the violence started appearing in England in the 1970s. Though the seeds must have been sown in the 1960s,

The 60s saw the beginning of the permissive society and a turning against traditional and conservative values. This meant people stopped caring about respect for others and self-dignity. Curiously, these are principles that underpin Confucianism, which I’ll discuss later. In short it was the beginning of Britain’s cultural revolution. And football hooliganism was an outgrowth of it.

This time period – the 1960s and 1970s must have been the turning point – when things started turning wrong in British society. Football is just one of the symptoms of a dis-functioning society. Not the cause. A social historian could fill in the detals.

Football hooliganism in the 1970s. source: Aston Villa football hooligan ‘removed head from corpse’ for sick BET, shocking new book reveals. The Mirror.
It harms us all

But letting out anger is not the best way. That anger damages us all, especially the people doing it. It will not satisfy. It can not be satisfied.

But I get it. In a disfunctioning society, this violence is a natural reaction to an unbalanced world.

It is a way for people to release frustration and in some perverse way, it is probably keeping these people from going crazy or getting cancer.

The UK’s ONLY Export today –  football hooliganism

The UK doesnt make anything to sell anymore. Well apart from some tanks and aircraft fighters which we sell to countries in the Middle East – for peaceful purposes I suppose…?

We don’t really make anything anymore. The few car brands left are owned by companies in other countries. Most things invented here are manufactured overseas. Usually in China.

So what’s left? Answer – Hooliganism.

Britain invented Football Hooliganism. And now we are spreading it around Europe the same way that American Self-Help gurus spread positive thinking and LOA (Law of Attraction) around the world (for a price).

YBHRH – Young British Holiday Resort Hooliganism

And even for those who don’t like Football, we have a non-football version of hooliganism called – “Young British Holiday Resort Hooliganism” (YBHRH for short).

This is where people go on holiday (Greece is a favourite destination), and carry out hooliganism – without any football involved.

It usually take the form of swarming resorts in excessive numbers, excessive drinking, being rude to the locals, having sex on the beach and leaving used condoms lying around for the fish to eat. Also destroying property, throwing furniture off hotel balconies and having lots and lots of alcohol fuelled fights, usually with other British people. Oh yes – and dropping lots and lots of vomit everywhere.

And just in case, you think I’m being sexist and unfairly picking on men. Here’s the way it is for women:

A typical night out for  British holiday makers in the greek resort of Kovos

British (Scottish) Girls night out in Kovos
What could possibly go wrong?
I can’t feel my feet.. Blueeghh

Picture Source: Why Corfu is calling time on British louts: Once a holiday island loved by families, its hotspots have been overrun by drunks. Now locals are cracking down and vowing to take it back upmarket. Mail Online.

“We’re British, We won the war, SO What?”

For too many years, British football hooligans got away with the most atrocious behaviour oversees and seemed above the law. Galloping and ravaging across Europe whenever the national team played abroad, holding towns and cities under siege. Excessive drunkenness, damage to property.

It has come about from a spoilt mentality. British people have an over-inflated sense of themselves. They think we are better than others. It is partly due to having an island mentality, but it also comes about, because for some dumb reason, our ancestors (not us) won the most recent Two World Wars, and we think that makes us better than everyone us.

It doesn’t. Our ancestors believed they were fighting for freedom and decency. Not for the right for mindless self-expression, decadence and violence. Our ancestors did not fight those wars, for this kind of behaviour in their descendants. It’s time to wake up.

“Fe**ing English’

One time in Amsterdam whilst participating in a training course, a waiter in a restaurant asked me and my friend which countries we were from? I told him I was from England and he said, “I don’t like the British”.

I just wonder what kind of encounters he must have had previously to have that opinion. I know Americans are used to that attitude since Bush, but the British?

This wasn’t meant as a direct insult against me personally.  He meant that generally he found British people rude and arrogant. He’d had to deal with many of them as customers as lots of British people go holidaying in Amsterdam. And truthfully, I knew what he meant. I don’t like the British either. And I’m one of them. Contradictory, I know.

British people have more money than some of our European counterparts and love spending it, but they bring this arrogant attitude with them. The British have a bad reputation in Europe.

A history of marauding

For centuries, our ancestors have been sent abroad to fight in Europe. There were the Napoleonic Wars, where the army was made up of criminals – “the dregs of society”. No doubt they would have carried out some hooliganism. But then, the soldiers of the last two wars were a different breed – a more respectful group of men.

Here is General Montgomery. He was the most famous British general during the Second World War and considered a hero. Although, he is probably unknown today.


Take a look at his face. This is a man with a refined, gentlemanly, and intelligent face, along with a wistful smile. Yet, it is a face that would probably not be in control today. It does not reflect our times.

The British Gentleman myth?

Has it always been like this? Was this stereotype of the English gentleman ever true?

Yes actually, it probably was true. British people were once considered gentlemen. Here is evidence…

The famous English Novelist George Orwell observed in 1944:

“An imaginary foreign observer would certainly be struck by our gentleness; by the orderly behaviour of English crowds, the lack of pushing and quarrelling…and except for certain well-defined areas in half a dozen big towns, there is very little crime or violence”.

George Orwell, The Welfare State We’re In


Here is an image of British football supporters in the 1950s. They are well dressed, well behaved and orderly. Their good behaviour is not because they were more controlled. In fact, these people probably had a more independent mindset then people have today.

Note how they are all wearing clothes. Heck they’re even wearing ties.

Picture Source: www.Londiston.com


Or this image of servicemen enjoying a match in 1943 (during the War). Again, note their reserved nature and also how they are wearing their clothes.

Source – Football’s Golden Years: The people that help to make the game – From Wembley to The Kop, from the Stretford End to Colchester … and even a famous World Cup final, too. Mail Online


In the book ‘The Welfare State We’re In’, Professor Gorer gave an account of a crowd at a football match in 1935 between Bristol Rovers and Bristol City:

“In public life today, the English are certainly among the most peaceful, gentle, courteous and orderly populations that the civilised world has ever seen… You hardly ever see a fight in a bar (a not uncommon spectacle in most of the rest of Europe or the USA) … Football crowds are as orderly as church meetings”.

The Welfare State We’re In


Contrast that with this description of a football match between the same teams Bristol Rovers and Bristol City, more than 70 years later in an article in the Daily Star, 20th September 2013:

“SHAME-faced middle-aged yobs who brawled before a city derby match were scolded by a judge: “You should know better’.

“The violence broke out as the two sides met at City’s Ashton Gate ground before an evening game in September 2013… Judge Graham Hume Jones told the shame-faced defendants: “Some of you are aged 40 to 56 and should know better than to behave like this.

The court heard an aggressive atmosphere developed as around 200 home fans started gathering at a local pub, three hours before kick-off. A 500-strong group of Bristol Rovers fans then massed around 500m away at another pub and riot police were sent to keep them apart. A taxi pulled up outside the first pub with Rovers fans inside and was bombarded with glasses, bottles and bricks, and mounted police and dog teams were forced to move in. One officer was hit in the face with a pint glass and a second had a glass smashed over his helmet and visor.

Source: Derby match violence: middle-aged family footy hooligans ‘You should know better’. Daily Star Sunday.

Consider also that these were middle-aged men, very likely with jobs and family. We’re not talking anarchists here or revolutionaries.

Strange how you get more passion at a football match riot then you ever did at an anti-war or anti-capitalism protest. Just think, 500 Bristol Rover hooligans probably have more impact than 1 million middle-class people walking into the centre of London to protest against the Iraq invasion.

Which shows you where the real power lies – as Orwell says – it lies in the proletariat. Except they’re too busy hypnotised by meaningless entertainment.


This is what British football supporters look like today

Note how they really love to take their clothes off.

Picture Source: British football fans begin their own Brexit as 200,000 flock to Euro 2016 for Home Nations ties. The Mirror

Actually, lets put these photos side by side:

Anyone else, think that maybe British society is in decline?


Perhaps you think it’s about class. Not so.

Football was always a sport favoured by the working class. The civilised looking people in the picture on the left – a lot of them (if not all) were likely working class.

In fact, they would have been poorer, had less opportunities and less comforts than their equivalent people today. But they clearly had more respect for others and more dignity. In fact, they probably had more respect for themselves.

It is not about class. It is about attitude. People today are more self-centered. They are more selfish. They belive that self-expression and letting it out is more important than respect for others.

This is why people back then could keep their clothes on in public. And why people today have to rip off their shirts even if they have big blubbery bellies. It is about showing off and over-expressing. These people don’t care that others may find their blubbery bellys offensive. Because more important is for them to overly self-express.

When you have a society like this, you have a society that is becoming more dumbed down. What’s it going to be like in 20 years time? Oh Lord save us.

We’ll probably be copulating on the stands and sacrificing goats during football matches.

Oh wait, it’s already starting to happen – Football Fans disgust after witnessing sex act in stands at Stoke City Match. Stoke Sentinal.co.uk:

A football fan was left disgusted after witnessing a sex act in the stands as Stoke City took on Sheffield Wednesday last weekend.

The mum-of-two took to social media to share her horror after turning around to witness a fellow fan perform a sex act on a man at Hillsborough.

But thankfully, we’re not sacrificing goats… Dogs yes (in Spain) – Spanish fan facing animal cruelty charge after throwing DOG at referee’. Evening Standard, – but not goats. Yet.

Police in Spain have arrested a football fan who threw a dog at a referee in protest at his decisions.

The unnamed hooligan snatched the animal from another supporter’s arms at a non-league match and hurled it at the official after he blew a foul against his side.

What can you say?

Changing attitudes

In 70 years, we see how a group of local football supporters changed from being “as orderly as a church meeting” to needing riot police to keep them apart.

As we can see, the British people were at one time more respectful and orderly even at something charged like a derby football match. Then since the 1970s, this started to break down and now fights, violence and foul language is commonplace. This change in football crowds is simply a reflection of a change in society as a whole.

So whats the solution? I have two possible solutions…

1st option – Bring in the Burka

The West seems to have a problem with the burka – the Islamic black dress that covers most areas of the body.

I think we should allow it. Except it is not the women that should wear them. It is male football supporters. Here’s my reasoning..

There seems to be a connection between Football Hooliganism and taking your clothes off. Therefore, if we prevent football supporters from removing their clothes, we can maybe stop their violent impulses.

So, let’s make them wear Burkas. It will also be less painful on the eyes.

Heres my evidence:

Before Burka
burka football supporters 1
After Burka


Before Burka
Beckham Burka
After Burka

Problem solved.


2nd option – Confucianism

If you don’t like the Burka idea, than how about something radical. Why don’t we introduce the principles and culture of Chinese Confucianism to rescue our broken British society?

Why not? Surely it is better than stepping over footpaths full of Sunday morning vomit and debris after match day.

A society that operates on respect

Japan, China and Korea are relatively collectivist societies where harmony and relationships between people are placed more importantly that the rights of the individual, regardless of how they may impact on others around them.

In Japan, the concept of ‘Wa’ or harmony, particular in maintaining harmony between yourself and others is seen as especially important. Another aspect of harmony and order is that of respect for hierarchy, respect for the family and respect for the community.

Confucius and Confucianism

One of the philosophies that has influenced the development of these types of societies is Confucianism, a philosophy of life based on the teachings of Confucius, a Chinese philosopher who lived around 552BC to 479BC, who travelled throughout China with a small group of disciples. His group underwent many hardships in their travels in order to spread his teachings designed to improve the society they lived in.

Confucianism is not so much a religion as a set of ethical principles that emphasis respect for the family, the elders, societal obligations and rules of courtesy particularly between rulers and subject, community members, husband and wife and between parents and children. Some key concepts are the adherence of rituals, virtuous example, self-cultivation, gentlemanly behaviour and becoming a learned man.

I have summarized some of Confucius’s teachings taken from the book of his teaching, The Analects:

On daily self-improvement:

Zengzi said, every day I examine myself on three points. When I worked to benefit someone else, did I do my best? In my relationships with my friends, did I fail to be trustworthy? Did I pass on any knowledge I myself had not put into practice?”


On gentlemanly behaviour:

There are nine things the gentleman gives thought to: he aims to be clear in vision, keen in hearing, amicable in his expression, courteous in his manners, conscientious in carrying out his words, and respectful in attending to his responsibilities; and when he is in doubt, he asks questions; when he is angry, he reflects on the unwanted consequences this could cause; when he sees a chance for gain, he asks whether it is right”.


A gentleman does not try to stuff himself when he eats and is not worried about the comfort of his dwelling. He is anxious about getting things done and careful about what he says. He gravitates towards those who possess moral integrity because he wants to put himself right. One could say that he is someone who loves learning”.


On learning:

The gentleman makes plans to realize the Way; he does not make plans to secure food. If you decide to till the field, there will still be time when you go hungry. If you decide to devote yourself to learning, there will be times when you may receive an official stipend (for putting your knowledge to work). The Gentleman worries about the Way. He does not worry about being poor”


There are some common themes that come up in these quotes. One is the importance on emphasizing internal personal qualities like integrity, work, knowledge and manners.

In our current age, there has been a great emphasis on material gains – wardrobes full of clothes, new cars bought on credit, the buying of houses, which has led to property bubbles and unaffordable housing throughout the Western world, rich food, which has led to obesity and poor health, even money, which has led to one of the greatest economic crashes in the last one hundred years.

In a way, it could be said we have focused too much on the yang (external wants and possessions) and neglected the yin (internal qualities and our internal state). We do need a certain degree of security and comfort. Our basic needs must be met, but we mustn’t forget to consider the development of our internal qualities.

On relationship between the parent and child:

“A youngster should be filial to his parents when he is at home and respectful to his elders when he is away from his home. He should be prudent in action and trustworthy in words”.

References: Confucius: The Analects


Respect for society, the community and for our elders must be cultivated at an early age, otherwise, the result is that selfish behavior may take hold. Discipline and firm boundaries are a part of this.

In the modern West, especially the UK, children are spoilt and discipline is ineffective and non-existent.

The result is that we often read news articles such as ‘four in ten teachers attacked by pupils’ – giving examples of how teachers in schools are getting “stabbed in the head with pencils”, “sprayed in the face with deodorant”, having furniture thrown at them, “being pushed, shoved, hit, and spat at”, as well as receiving regular verbal abuse (BBC 2016).

Or that ‘Fifty pupils are suspended for attacking teachers every day’ with teachers even being murdered by children whilst at school, (The Daily Mail 2015). Sucks to be a teacher in the UK these days. 

Sadly, such stories are not unusual in modern-day Britain. Liberalisation as well as the destruction of traditional values is at the heart of these behaviors. We do children a great dis-service by training them to be spoilt, poorly educated and potential future criminals.

Respect for the society we live in

In short, Confucianism is about respect for the family, for society, and contributing and becoming a useful member. It works both ways. Adults must respect children and guide them wisely into adulthood as well as setting firm boundaries. Children must respect their elders and learn discipline, the meaning of work and of contributing to society.

Of course, this is not always the case. Some parents are undeserving of respect. Also, there is a time, when children must break from parents and find their own way.

The principles of Confucianism underpin all traditional stable societies. Whenever a society breaks against tradition that holds its society together, it risks anarchy and collapse.

The Genki Self Health Guide

This books expands on themes and extracts in my book – The Genki Self health Guide: Improve your Body and Mind with Traditional Oriental Medicine. Available on Amazon.

genki health japanese woman in bed

Next Post

Manarchy in the UK: The Decline in Manners – Part 1


Related Posts

Rubbish London: 5 Bits of Trash on London Streets

A Tale of Two Fishing Habits: UK and Japan

The New Religion of Gluttony

5 Ways the World is a Madhouse

Vending machines in Japan

Fortune comes in by a merry gate

Small acts of Goodwill


Daily Mail Online. 14th June 2016. Thomas Burrows. Revealed: Russian thugs’ training ground where ‘Ultra’s were made to line up and attack each other to select the ‘best’ 150 to send to Euro 2016. Accessed – March 2nd 2019

Nottingham Forest Fans ‘fight over last pie’ at half time during defeat to Leeds’. The Mirror. Alex Smith. 27th August 2017. Accessed 2nd March 2019

Football Fans disgust after witnessing sex act in stands at Stoke City Match. Stoke Sentinal.co.uk. Hayley Parker. 18th September 2018. Accessed 2nd March 2019

Spanish fan facing animal cruelty charge after throwing DOG at referee’. Evening Standard. 12th February 2014. Gerald Couzens. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

British football fans begin their own Brexit as 200,000 flock to Euro 2016 for Home Nations ties. The Mirror. Paul Byrne, Martin Fricker. 23rd June 2016. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

London football Grounds Through the Years – www.Londonist.com

England fans are targeted by Belgian thugs while celebrating their 2-1 win over Wales as three Russian ‘ultras’ are jailed for up to two years in France. Mail Online. 19th June 2016. Thomas Burrows. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

Why Corfu is calling time on British louts: Once a holiday island loved by families, its hotspots have been overrun by drunks. Now locals are cracking down and vowing to take it back upmarket. Mail Online. August 10th 2017. Neil Tweedie. Accessed 2nd March 2019

Derby match violence: middle-aged family footy hooligans ‘You should know better’. Daily Star Sunday. 20th February 2015. Accessed 2nd March 2017

Exclusive: Famous fan Beefy’s too fat to watch favourite team play. Daily Star Sunday. 6th September 2015. David Paul. Accessed 2nd March 2019

Bad Blood: Russian football hooligans warn England fans ‘prepare to DIE’ ahead of the World Cup 2018. The Sun. Patrick Knox. 9th April 2018. Accessed 2nd March 2019

The rise of Russia’s neo-Nazi football hooligans. The Guardian. 24th April 2018. Simon Parkin. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

Football’s Golden Years: The people that help to make the game – From Wembley to The Kop, from the Stretford End to Colchester … and even a famous World Cup final, too. Mail Online. Nick Metcalfe. 23rd January 2013, Accessed 2nd March 2019

The Welfare State We’re In. James Bartholomew. Biteback Publishing 2013.

Police on hunt for 100 missing football hooligans ahead of World Cup kick off. The Mirror. 9th June 2018. Dan Warburton. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

Aston Villa football hooligan ‘removed head from corpse’ for sick BET, shocking new book reveals. The Mirror. 26th March 2016. Jeanette Oldham. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

Japanese fans STILL clean up the stadium after their match…. despite the heartbreak of seeing their side lose 3-2 in the last minute. Mail Online. George Martin. 3rd July 2018. Accessed 2nd March 2019.

Japanese fans clean up stadium after World Cup victory and inspire other nations to follow suit. The Telegraph. 20 June 2018. Mark Molloy. Accessed 3rd March 2019.

Four in 10 teachers ‘attacked by pupils’ BBC News. 26th January 2016. Hannah Richardson. Accessed 3rd March 2019

Fifty pupils are suspended for attacking teachers every day – with 11,000 PRIMARY SCHOOL youngsters kicked out of class for assault last year. Mail Online. 30th July 2015. Keiligh Baker. Accessed 3rd March 2019

Confucius: The Analects


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New arrival

One of my shortest posts.

My second son Jo was born yesterday and all went well. Wife is recovering ok. So it’s a good week😊

Things will be busy for the next few weeks, but I intend to keep up with my regular posting and article writing in the weeks and months to come.

Rubbish London: 5 Bits of Trash on London Streets

This article will talk candidly about the UK’s problems with litter. Basically, the UK and British people don’t really care that our country is a tip. Or maybe we just don’t notice it anymore.

Before I get to the list of 5 bits of rubbish you will find on London Streets, let’s look to the future…


A great writer wrote something along the lines that a civilisation can be evaluated by the state of detritus that it leaves behind.

Imagine a thousand years in the future, after global warming, sea levels rising, a catastrophic nuclear powerplant break-down, meteorite or any other disaster has brought an end to civilisation as we know it . A future civilisation has rebuilt itself and begins to excavate the streets of London. What will they find? And what will it tell us about the state of our people today.

Here is a possible scenario, centuries in the future:

The professor points at a pile of rock. “Can anyone tell me what this is?”

A student hazards a guess – “some kind of ancient pottery, sir”

“Very good, but it is far to uneven for that. If you take a look at the uneven shapes and textures, you will see that this is actually fossilised vomit.”

“Fossilised vomit!”, the students say surprised.

“Yes”, the professor continues. “In this period, it was common for men and women to drink excessively and vomit on the streets at any time of the day or night. Usually it would be left to the local council to clean it, but more than often it was left to the elements, in other words …rain.”

“And this?” He points to another object.

A student ventures “it is an animal bone”

“Yes, good”, the professor says, “But what kind of bone?”

“By the size of it, I’d say a small bird and looking at the teeth marks in it, it was probably hunted and then eaten by an ancient Landoner”, the student surmised.

“Good hypothesis” the professor praised, “but not quite right. If you look at this fossilized debris surrounding it, you can see it was in a ‘takeaway box’. And judging by the size and fragility of the bone, it was likely a factory farmed breed, not a wild breed making it unlikely to be hunted. You may have heard of such things”

“You mean the famed Kuntucky fried chicken?” a student asked.

“No more likely a cheaper variation. In this case, this character ‘P’ here, suggests it was a ‘Perfect fried chicken’ variety. You see, many of the ancient Landoners were fed on a daily diet of fried chicken, eaten from boxes and discarded usually at bus stops on or the top decks of buses – their ancient transportation system.They would be accompanied by fried potatoes otherwise known as chips. There are thousands of these specimens found all throughout the city suggested that the ancient Landoners were slobs and had no respect for their surroundings or for animals”.

‘I see” the students responded.

“And finally, this large object, what do you make of it?” the professor asked.

“It appears to be some kind of box. Could it be for storing things in? Although it a little bit too thin for that and there is some glass. Perhaps it was for decoration?”. One student surmised.

“Alas, no”, the professor answered. “This is a flatscreen TV”.

A student squeaked up “Oh yes, TV! I have heard of that – Information presenting devices. They were really valuable in these times. Only a few people had them and neighbours would all gather round and watch ‘programmes’ together in shared community spirit”.

The Professor cleared his throat. “Yes, there are records that such things happened at one point, but over time they became cheap and undervalued and people would end up discarding them on street corners along with other types of household furnishings – worn out bed mattresses, broken fridges, microwave ovens, even toilets. Again they would be left for the local council to remove or as was more likely – for the elements, that it… the rain”.

The British people and litter

The UK has a litter problem. Walk the streets of London or any city and you’ll see it. And I’m not talking about Oxford Street (tourist central) – where they hire a large number of cleaners. I’m talking about all the normal streets where people live, work and go about their daily business.

The morning after

Some morning, I will walk the street and see debris all over the place. Black bin bags will be piled up (yet it’s not a bin collection day). Some of them will have been torn open by the local wildlife, either foxes or rats or perhaps some strange hybrid mix of the two. The rats I’ve seen in London are pretty big, almost like dogs and as for the foxes…

I should add, that I grew up in the countryside and the foxes there are rather splendid red looking things with bushy hair. But in London, they are rather mangy looking things – more like stray dogs.

Japan has no litter problem

It’s a bit different in Japan. Dropping litter is strongly disapproved of. The streets are generally spotless. I even saw a group of school kids being sent to pick up litter in a local train station (even though there wasn’t any). In the UK, the opposite happens. School kids will voluntarily drop litter in train stations.

Also I saw groups of elderly people specifically volunteering to go out and pick up rubbish in order to improve their society. They even had a special uniform. Can you imagine this happening in the UK? Or anywhere else? I suppose it’s a kind of universal balance. They clean up litter whereas we drop it.

You get used to it, till it becomes normal

You kind of get used to walking though litter strewn streets in the early morning. By the evening, it will all be cleaned up again thanks to the magic of the council (with my money!). But to be honest. Given the choice of being forced (by risk of court summons or imprisonment) to pay a hundred pounds extra a month on council tax or just live in a society where people weren’t lazy slobs, then I’d choose the latter.

On the other hand, maybe I’m the one who’s got this wrong. I am being forced to pay a ridiculous amount of council tax each month so the streets are cleaned up. Shouldn’t I be taking advantage of this service? Aren’t I the sucker? We’ve heard of the five pieces of fruit and veg, we’re supposed to be eating everyday. Well, perhaps, I should be dropping  at least five pieces of garbage. I can take a pick from the following list.

Rubbish London: 5 bits of trash you will find on London streets

Well anyway, as per the title of this post, here are 5 bits of rubbish you will find on London streets:

  1. A discarded copy of that free newspaper the Metro. Not particularly needed, as people can read the news on their smartphones now, but what else should we be doing with all those trees, I hear no one ask.
  2. Chewing Gum. Not that I chew gum, but why should I deprive my fellow city dwellers, the wonderful sensation of your shoes sticking to the carpet.
  3. A half eaten box of fried chicken and chips, and tomato sauce of course. Or maybe just the chicken bones by itself. Something to feed the pigeons with. By the way, have you seen some of the pigeons? I think they prove that cannibalism and a predominantly junk food diet causes deformities.
  4. Empty crisp/chocolate wrapper/empty can/bottle of fizzy soft drink. There is something hypnotic about an empty bottle rolling from one end of the top deck of a bus to the other. It’s like some kind of perpetual motion machine.
  5. And finally, at least some piece of household furniture – broken TV, microwave oven, broken wardrobe or my personal favourite – a skanky looking bed mattress. eeuugh.

Watch your step.

Parts of this article were written a couple of years ago and I wonder if it goes against the general tone of my other more recent work. If it comes across as too negative or critical I think it reflects some of my mindset from that time and I hope that it not indicative of my work today as I am moving to becoming more forgiving and more positive.

London streets are for the most part kept clean thanks to the council, but I do feel a lot of people drop trash without thinking of the consequences on society and our streets. Basically it is a selfish act.